It’s tough being different in this world. Especially when you are surrounded by mediocrity. Or more commonly, douchewads.
But once in a while, the thing that makes you different also makes you a god!
There are many natural mutations that make you cool and don’t require you to take radioactive waste bubble baths with animals in an attempt to acquire their abilities.
Here are a few:
The ability to shoot milk out of your eyes to impress your school buddies and scare girls.
Being double-jointed gives you the power to impress your friends and scare elementary school girls!
Or the power to get my phone number if you are a double-jointed elementary school girl gymnast.
Being able to fart on command. That’s just awesome and instantly makes you a hero to any man.
But there is one quality attribute that usually sets most fellas apart. It is a rare and mysterious condition. So rare in fact, that it has been dubbed “The White Whale” (by me…just now.) Though, “The Black Whale” might make more sense… It has been known most famously to strike school teachers, ambulance drivers and, most of all, surveyors.
It’s hard to explain, really. Unless I either undo my tight-fitting pants or write you a poem…
Hard to walk sometimes;
the one downfall of being
hung like a donkey.
These are the Typical sounds of someone with a generous package unleashing their unit upon the world.
I left out some of the more graphic sounds because this is a goddamn family site, and I won’t have