As we’ve previously pointed out, Cosmopolitan Magazine often puts out lists about how to spice up your sex life, or seduce a man. These “tips” often come across like they have been plucked from a fan-fiction randomizer that only knows about sex from hashtags. Some of the ideas below may kind of make sense, but… Read More 25 More Ways Cosmo™ Destroys Your Sex Life
Cosmopolitan is infamous for giving terrible sex advice and having unrealistic expectations of beauty, relationships, and pretty much everything else. So when they put this article on their website I felt the need to clarify the “tips” for people who live in reality. The original article’s suggestions are quoted below followed by my fair, unbiased, and respectful opinions. Now, let’s see… Read More 30 Great Ideas from Cosmo™ (for Ruining Sex)
Draw Something is a the latest mobile app to take the world by storm. And for good reason: it lets you interact with your friends and Facebook stalkers (or stalkees) by playing a simple version of Pictionary with them. The game levels the playing field between artists and whatever-the-opposite-of-artists-is quite effectively due to the fact… Read More The Best of Draw Something (Dirty): Part 1
I like furry, multi-colored pseudo-animals. I love the look in their googly eyes when I am violating them. I like their shrill, high-pitched moans and shrieks as they climax. Kermit, Miss Piggy, And Even Oscar The Grouch. I Fucked The Muppets. —NPX I especially love the honkers. (Note: Original pictures from this older post… Read More Put Your Hand Up Inside Me.
Hoorah, today is V-day, and that can only mean one thing: desperate single women! To all of you women who are lowering your standards, I will be at Loonies today around 6PM. You don’t have to bring me flowers or chocolates, but wearing something nice gets you extra points. Just look for the desperate single man… Read More Hearts and Daggers.
Many of you simpletons have asked me what neuroparadox stands for. So I wrote a poem for all of you question-asking anal excretions out there. Neuroparadox. The Defintion Follows: “I Fucked Your Mom. Hard.” —NPX Thank you for your time and patronage. (Note: Original pictures from this older post have been accidentally lost to… Read More Stop Asking Me.
Howdy howdy fuckin’ partners. Time for a haiku. Tell me you love me. Though I’ve Had A Whore; I Have Never Paid For Sex. I Paid Her To Leave. —NPX Truer words were never spoken. Amen. (Note: Original pictures from this older post have been accidentally lost to time.)