In the Garden of Metrosexuality, the Fruit Will Always Overflow.

Metrosexualilty is defined in a few ways.   For example, the dudes on the Jersey Shore are metrosexual.

Three dudes from MTVs abortion: Jersey Shore.

The way it was described to me by a self-proclaimed metrosexual was, “…to have feminine tendencies.”

Like tight pants?  Giving blowjobs?

There’s a reason they call it WOMENS clothing, because it’s for WOMEN.  There’s no grey area!

Here are some warning signs that someone may be metrosexual!

When you spend more time on your hair than actually being a man, you might be metrosexual!

Or when you say things like:

“I’m going to the hair dresser for a hair cut…”

“Do you like my new purse?”

“After a hard day’s work, there’s nothing better than a hot bath and a Strongbow to take the edge off.”

“Whatever man, if you turn the lights out, it’s the same damned thing!  Now what kind of jelly do you like?”

“Where  am I going to put this full length mirror?”

“Of course I know who Clay Aiken is!”

Seacrest Out!”

Its a beer & a cider, so it goes both ways...just like me!

We’ve gone through centuries of evolution where men have hunted, gathered food, aggressively confronted other men to win status, killed random people who annoyed them.  And just within a decade or so, men have suddenly transformed into this…

Behold the Grey Area


Seriously, if he’s not gay, this guy should be dropped on a Japanese reactor.

I found a study done by a British University, about the appeal of a man with a strong musk, and beer on his breath, compared to Sir Dancealot up there.  80% of the 6000 women say they prefer the beer drinking male to a man who is an embarrassment to his father.  All the excuse I need!

Of course, no one likes a fat beer drinking loser, but a man throwing back beer in a pub while keeping relatively composed, spells respect, even among dudes!


Operation Lady Killer is a go!

Bottom line, after all my extensive research my opinion on metrosexuality, is that there’s no such thing.  If you’d rather go out and buy expensive clothes that look good on you than rock out with your cock out, that’s your prerogative brother.  It’s the one’s that play the metrosexual card to defend their sexual orientation that really kill the batteries in my Gaydar.

So if you want to wrap your dick in rainbow-colored fruit roll ups and watch the Wizard of Oz ten times a day, go ahead, I’ll see you at 7!

How dare you say that!
I am just as much a man
As my mother is!

One thought on “In the Garden of Metrosexuality, the Fruit Will Always Overflow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s