You know how I hate stupid people. But they do deserve a little recognition. So I wrote them a poem. A Sack of Hammers; A Bowl of Soft, Warm Oatmeal. Things Smarter Than You —NPX To see a really SMRT person, check out my interaction with this girl on Messenger Advertisements
If you know me, you know how much I hate stupid people. I recently had a conversation with a girl on MSN Messenger. I was using my friend Ryan’s account. He left it logged in, so I felt it my duty to fuck with his contacts. Names have been changed to protect the retarded. Without further… Read More WTF-OMG-SMRT.
Let’s play a game. It is similar to Dane Cook’s “Who’s In My Mouth?” I call it: “Guess The Hair Color of the Barbie Doll in Your Ass.” Actually it is fairly easy, the answer is always ‘Blonde.’ ‘Brown’ is also acceptable. Sing this haiku to a tune in your head. What’s That In My Butt?… Read More John Tucker Must Die = Best Motion Picture (Drama)
I am tired so I’ll keep this short. Fuck you, fuck your dog. When I Meet Jesus. I Think I’d Ask Him: Do You Hate Eating Skittles? —NPX There! I hope that’s in good taste. Good night my Christian Brothers.
Ah, the dawn of a new year. Another year of murderous world domination plans being foiled by my lethargic inclination. I would also like to reinforce my abhorrence for all things christmas and christmas-like. The worst part: people. I loathe people as it is, but people during holidays just get my proverbial, sacrificial goat. What is it about shopping… Read More Baby Jesus Is Great. With Duck Sauce.
I’m Back Baby! It’s been 6 months since my last posting, you savages must be starving for some more sardonic opining. But this post it just to let you know that I will start posting again, regularly, in the new year. So keep it together, Bitch. I can put my arm back on, you can’t. So… Read More Automoronic Asphyxiation.
Ever fall head-over-heels for a girl only to realize that your pretty sure she has no feelings for you, whatsoever? Yeah, me too. I’ve always wanted to do one of these. I may as well since I get twenty of them a day. It’s not all funny, but I am tired, so eat my… Read More Crippling Suicidal Depression? Check.