Good morning bitches, rise and shine.
I have been away a while, serving 2 tours alongside the US in “The War on Christmas“.
I have seen it all: RPGs fired from flying sleds, snowmen pillaging igloos and raping young snowballs. I even saw a reindeer sodomize a calvary horse. The horror. The horror.
These kinds of actions must be halted, and the people to do it? The good ol’ US of A.
Brave soldiers such as: Privates First Class (read: retarded dicks) Bill O’Reilly & John Gibson.
As we speak, the US marches onwards to the North Pole to defeat Santa’s legions of nazi-esque elves hell-bent on the destruction off all things Christmas (or non-Christmas I can’t remember). The US “intelligence” community has acquired feasable information that Santa Claus may have WMD’s. And that the North Pole may, in fact, be the next nuclear superpower.
If there are indeed WMDs situated at the North Pole, you can be sure that The Alliance of Jesus’ Allied Revolutionaries (or, AJAR) will be there to bring down those pointy-eared elves, button-nose snowbastards, and all opposers of extremist Christianity.
Look, I am not a religious man (shocking, I know). But that doesn’t mean that I can’t see when people are
going fucking overboard when they are being proponents to their religion.
I respect religion and a person’s right to belief, but that doesn’t mean I am not gonna knock out Jesus if he hits on my girlfriend. Even if Vishnu, Shiva & Brahma are being dicks, don’t think me and my mates won’t take them down a notch. But I digress.
I have left you the link to this whole “War on Christmas” thing, and I will let you decide for yourself on how
absolutely right I am.
Now, What would Christmas be without a haiku?
The War On Christmas?
What’s That Rolling Over Sound?
Oh. It’s Just Jesus.
And for all you Zoroastrians out there; “May many blessings of Ahura Mazda befall you”.
(Note: Original pictures from this older post have been accidentally lost to time.)