Monthly Archives: July 2005
The Big Easy
Went to the Calgary Stampede. I had a blast…I think. I lost 4 days of my life to the bottle.
I swear I will never drink that much breast milk again.
Haiku Time! Hooray!
Fuck the Kool-Aid Man.
He busted my wall again.
I pissed in his head.
—NPX
That’s all for now. Props to Dane Cook.
See you at Loonies.
Self-improvement Is Masturbation. So Is Playing With Your Wee-wee.
Bonjour mes petits infants.
How was your day? I am listening.
Is it just me, or is it that every step you take up in the ladder of employees from peon to CEO, that there is a mathematic exponentiality of the increasing stupidity?
Here’s a test if you are on one of the bottom rungs: at 1:45 ask one of your fellow serfs what time it is, he will most likely respond "One forty-five." Or, "Quarter to two." Or, "Screw off, you bother me."
Now ask one of the higher-ups, and if my theory is correct they will respond something like this: "Three quarters past one." Or, "Half an hour to a quarter past two." Or, "Screw off, you bother me. But first explain to me the concept of ice." Or they might just tell you they can’t because they are wearing the watch with the hands, instead of the one with the numbers.
In any case I am right. Va te faire foutre!
And now, a haiku.
Do you Masturb8?
Try it with your other hand.
Pass the tissues, please.
—NPX
I hope you get the joke about the noose in the photos.
That’s it, see you at Loonies.
Fairy Tales For Straight People.
Hello my little bitches, I have a new haiku for j00. And that was not it, fool.
I have come to the decision that hilarius side-splitting pseudo-funny poetry will be my hook/outlet for most of my blogs. So if you don’t like it, you can lick my ass from the inside.
Please post any comments.
And now…the show.
Once upon a time.
Seven small dwarves and one girl.
Got rich making porn.
—NPX
That’s all, see you at Loonies.
